Building Resilience and Encouraging Resistance
Alice Ritchie, Researcher & Executive Search at Carlyle Associates
There was something about moving away at 18 years old, to a city where I didn’t know anyone, that encouraged a freedom and curiosity I had never experienced before. I went to University fully convinced I was heterosexual and it wasn’t until I was surrounded by people who openly discussed sexuality and their fluidity, that I began to consider my own.
After a few years of denial, I knew that if I was going to be content and accept my identity then I had to confront the fact that I was bisexual. Being bisexual is a part of me but it is not all of me. In fact, it is probably one of the least interesting aspects of my identity. Once I began to approach my sexuality with the same matter-of-fact attitude as telling people I am a Mackem from Sunderland, I built a confidence around my sexuality and became comfortable talking about it.
However, once I graduated and had to get a big girl job, I realised I would have to come out again to a new group of people. My colleagues would likely be from different generations and backgrounds, and some would inevitably have an influence over my career. Coming out at work was nerve wracking. Whilst there is a line between professional and personal life, it was important to me that I could be my true self at work. I remember having the ‘what did you get up to at the weekend?’ chat with a colleague in front of others and, after avoiding mentioning that I was in a homosexual relationship, I finally included the words ‘with my girlfriend’. I flashed my eyes around to catch any reactions and to my surprise, no-one batted an eyelid and the conversation moved on.
I work alongside a very open-minded, inclusive and supportive bunch of colleagues. However, my original concerns were founded in an awareness that this reaction is not the case for many LGBTQ+ individuals. Celebrating pride and creating an inclusive and open work environment is the bare minimum as a fair employer. We spend most of our time at work (don’t think too long and hard about it), and for many, work may also act as a space that offers safety and security away from other environments of discrimination and oppression. It is vital that our workplace provides support and promotes inclusion.
Support at Work
We reached out to some of our SFE membership organisations and asked them to tell us about their LGBTQ+ networks and how it has helped them build resilience.
Martyn Sales:
‘’Our LGBTQ+ network has given me the confidence to not only get involved in Aegon Proud activities, but talk more freely amongst colleagues about my partner and life outside of work. It’s a nice feeling knowing the company is ‘on my side’ which is all I needed to be reassured and feel that I belong and can be fully myself at work. Now my confidence and resilience has grown enough to be an ally to others, share my story and promote the importance of inclusive culture and psychological safety in the working environment’’
Burness Paull - BeProud Network
Jamie Meechan:
“Life at work is so much better when you can be your true self. Fostering a work environment in which LGBT+ colleagues can be their true selves and feel included and supported at work benefits everyone, not just LGBT+ people. In my opinion and in my experience, you cannot underestimate the power of a network group in providing that support and building resilience in its members and the wider organisation. I would encourage everyone to join an employee network group (or to set one up if there isn’t one already already).”
Callum Stridgeon:
“Our Rainbow Network here at NatWest Group work hard to educate, provide development opportunities and personal support to LGBT+ colleagues and allies across the organisation. I am extremely proud to work with incredible LGBT+ colleagues and allies who work tirelessly to implement changes and create inclusive environments for all members of our community. Having LGBT+ role models has helped me on both a professional and personal level, to feel comfortable in disclosing my sexual orientation to my colleagues and feeling empowered to progress my career. We know that we still have a long way to go until we reach full equality for all, but when we come together and educate we see real change happen.”
LGBT+ Lloyds Banking Group plc
Ciaran Corrigan:
“The Rainbow Network allows colleagues to be their true and authentic self, sharing colleague stories, supporting colleagues and their resilience. The network is committed to supporting LGBTQ+ colleagues and allies with events planned throughout the year and a host of Pride activity each year for colleagues to participate in.”
We celebrate pride because we celebrate difference. Pride is also a time to reflect and celebrate our history of resistance within the LGBTQ+ community as well as the resistance that is to come. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community builds resilience. Whether it is battling your own assumptions, stereotypes, and prejudices or those that we receive from others, you ultimately battle with having pride in who you are and how others interact with you as a result of that difference.
Being who you are can sometimes be the hardest thing to be. There are so many pressures around us that affect everyone in such individual and complex ways. There is no doubt that coming out as bisexual went hand in hand with a growth in my confidence. I have become resilient in defending who I am and tackling stereotyping and prejudice when faced with it. Whilst resilience shapes an inner strength, by resisting against discrimination we can build a society where resilience and being LGTBQ+ do not have to be synonymous. “Moving beyond resilience to resistance can help us foreground marginalized people's active role in pushing against oppressive structures and the work we still need to do to make the world a better place at both the individual and structural levels.”*
*Robinson, Brandon Andrew, and Rachel M. Schmitz. "Beyond Resilience: Resistance In The Lives Of LGBTQ Youth". Sociology Compass, vol 15, no. 12, 2021. Wiley, https://doi.org/10.1111/soc4.12947. Accessed 19 June 2022